Liberation of Contentment (Tyranny of Entitlement)

"Find a way to be happy with what you have, and from there, you'll always have everything you need."

    One of my favorite characters from ‘Avatar: The Last Airbender’ is uncle Iroh. He is a man born of royalty, and yet finds so much joy and beauty in life’s simplest pleasures. From the first time I saw him on screen as a child, I’ve always admired this trait and wanted to grow up to be like him. But it was only recently that I truly began digging in and figuring out what makes him who he is and why I love it so much. Now, I know that a supporting character from a children’s animated series may not be the best role model to choose from, but I believe the message the creators wanted to portray still rings very true: learning to be content with the simple things in life is a liberating, transcendent experience. 

    A few weeks ago I began implementing this ideology in my own life, and the results have been absolutely astounding.  Much of what I am going to share has many similarities with the topic of perspective, but since I believe they are two distinct principles, I’ve allotted a separate post for The Power of Perspective. For this one, however, I’d like to start at the beginning.

    For those of you who know me, you know that I am a fien for lemonade. I drink it religiously, and personally, I think you’d be hard pressed to find one better than the stuff at California pizza kitchen. So it makes sense why I’d be downhearted when I found out at the table that they were out for the night. However, being someone who tries to remain conscious of my own sensibilities, I couldn’t help but notice how much my own mood was shifted after hearing those words. For some reason, it stuck with me for the next few days. About a week later, for my own birthday, we went to Cheesecake factory for their divine white turkey chili (and cucumber mint lemonade). And again, to my dismay, they were out of the thing I had went there for. At this point, I began sensing that the universe was trying to teach me something in these recurring moments of petty disappointment, and I decided to spend that evening lying in bed, mulling over my life when suddenly, it hit me out of nowhere:

All moments of disappointment come from a place of failed expectations. If we lower our expectations to a level of deep humility, everything else will be perceived as a blessing. 

   My favorite quote by Iroh is ,”There is a simple honor in poverty.” And I believe that wholeheartedly. Contentment is the greatest form of wealth one can achieve. It is wealth in its natural form. And so, for the past few weeks, I’ve been slowly downgrading all the luxuries of my life. At first it was hard; Denying myself small things that I’d naturally assume I were entitled to. Things such as cold drinks, and a pillow to sleep on. I began swapping them for things like hot tea with sugar, or a folded blanket to rest my head on. From there, I took it to even further extremes. I began sleeping without blankets and just a crumpled up sweater. I taught myself to love plain, warm tea free of any additives. Instead of ordering the best looking meal on the menu, I began ordering the most simple. And taught myself to love those.

    Now again, I am not saying that this is the exact path everyone should take. I know plenty of people who love tea, and for them, this path will look totally different. Personally, before this journey, I could not stand tea. I thought it was the plainest, most boring and disgusting beverage on this earth. But that is why I chose that to be the thing I wanted to learn to enjoy. Because when we can break out of our preconceived notions of what we believe we are "entitled" to, and learn to enjoy the things we view as low class or subpar, it frees us from our own ego and allows us to enjoy life without any restrictions.

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    Over this past week, I got the privilege of going back into the Sierra Nevada mountains, and I was astonished at how little I packed. Normally, my bags are filled to the brim with blankets and clothes and pillows and lights and a cot and a plethora of other things. But this time, I instinctively packed my sweater, 2 sets of clothes, and a small blanket. When we got up there and I realized there wasn't room in the tent, I put my head on my sweater, laid on the picnic table, and went to sleep beneath the stars. Sure, it was cold. And the table was hard and stiff. But the next day, when we stayed in a hotel- even the simplest amenities of heating and a soft bed felt like pure royalty. I was beyond grateful for these common, simple things. And that gratefulness impacted me for the rest of my day.

    My challenge for all of you is this: Take a good long look at your life, and find the things that you believe you are entitled to. And once you find them; strip them away. When you reach the bare bones of your existence, teach yourself to find joy in that. Your life will be changed.

I wish all of you the best as we tackle this journey together.

Your friend, E. Mar